June 2013: Love & Relationships
Dear Susan,
My Dad is my hero and I want to be sure that he really knows how I feel it since he’s getting older. My brother isn’t close with Dad. It seems really strange to celebrate Father’s Day, just me and my Dad. But I know if I include my brother it will ruin the day for both of us. What do I do?
Sincerely yours,
Brittany, Summerland, CA
Dear Brittany,
Thank you for your honesty which is such a rare commodity in families, isn’t it? You would be letting your brother off the hook so the questions is how to “sell” it, right? Please consider different activities that your Dad loves, and that you know your brother does not. Then please have a heart-to-heart with your Dad giving him the choice about spending the day with you and doing A,. B,. or C. or spending a day like other years when you were all together. If he prefers to keep the peace with your brother, let him know that “every day is Father’s Day with a Dad like you” and I suggest a
second celebration.
Sincerely yours,
Susan
Dear Susan,
I had such a crazy time at prom; my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I know we’re too young – I get it. He’s excited because he has this idea that since we’re going to the same college that we can marry and still focus on our work and graduate. How do I tell him that I know I can’t do everything and still keep him happy and committed to me?
Sincerely yours,
Janie, Goleta, CA
Dear Janie,
You must be excited to see how much your boyfriend loves you! Find a peaceful time to “walk him through” what this would look like for you: planning a wedding, having a wedding, having a honeymoon, leaving for college, and then acclimating to your new life there. For most people your parent’s age, that list would make their head spin because we have been through it and know how exhausting each can be. Please reassure him that you love him, that you’ll be together. Then let him know that you need to get settled in college and get good grades before taking on a huge commitment that requires the love and attention that he deserves.
Sincerely yours,
Susan
For answers to questions and for a one-hour free, private telephone coaching session, contact susan@susanallan.org For Susan’s television trainings www.ustream.tv/channel/evolution-revolution1 1st Tuesday show 3-4 p.m. Channel 17. Tuesday 8-9 a.m., Friday 6-7 p.m. and Monday 1-2 a.m. www.ustream.tv/channel/compassionate-connection 2nd and 4th Tuesdays 8-9 p.m. live on SB Channel 17. Allan has appeared on Fox News. Susan Allan is a leading relationship expert and offers sales, love, marriage and divorce coaching and mediation. Please visit us at www.susanallan.org